It was the first day of 2023, and I thought of making the day a little special for him. He didn't care about it much though. He would rather be happy sucking his thumb and watching blogs on Youtube. I had to take him away from the screen.
Pramita didn't want to accompany us for reasons known to her. The idea was to go to a particular shop and buy a few chocolates. Veer promised me that he wouldn't demand anything more. I started the bike, Veer took his seat, and we headed towards the store. As usual, it wouldn't be a smooth, point-to-point ride. On the way came a fair. Veer checked if we could stop by. I didn't mind. We bought the entry tickets and made an entry. Veer then struggled to resist his urge to take the rides. I was okay with him taking a couple of rides. Otherwise, what was the point in visiting the fair.
"Papa, can I take three rides? Please, don't refuse. I will take the rides of your choice," said Veer.
I thought that was it. Why would I deprive my son from enjoying a few rides on the first day of a new year? I agreed instantly.
"Okay, but only three of them. You can choose them yourself," I said as he dragged me to the boat ride.
I got the ticket for him. It was a 5 minute ride. 2 minutes into it and he got bored. Somehow he completed the entire 5 minutes and got out happily to choose another ride.
Next, he chose a bike ride.
"Are you sure? You have only two more rides to take. Do you want to tick off one with this ride?" I checked with him.
"Yes, I am sure," he said and went ahead to sit on a toy bike. I paid the money.
Two rounds of the ride and he got bored. It seemed he didn't enjoy the rest of the rounds. He kept thinking which ride he would take next.
As expected, as soon as he alighted the bike, he wanted to take the trampoline.
"Are you sure? You are going to exhaust your options with this last ride, so choose wisely," I checked with him.
"Yes, I am sure," he said and entered the trampoline, following which I paid for it.
Veer jumped inside the trampoline twice or thrice and looked at me. I knew what would follow.
"Papa, please allow me to take one more ride," he requested.
"Enjoy the trampoline first. We will discuss it later," I said to encourage him to enjoy the present.
It was not about a ride but his basic nature that bothered me. Veer was never satisfied no matter what he got. He was not supposed to come to the fair. It was me who wanted to buy him some chocolates. He already took three rides which was his own call. And, then he was making another request.
Helpless, I allowed him to take one more ride. He chose to jump in the castle. Even though he entered the castle, mostly he sat at a corner and watched others jumping. He was already tired.
Anyway, once the time was over, the king left the castle. And I went ahead to start the bike. He was about to take the rear seat when his eyes fell on the toys a vendor was selling.
The idea of buying toys would receive a big 'no' from me. Veer knew it.
"You won't buy me a face mask, will you?" he checked hesitantly.
The way the question was framed melted my heart.
"We are not supposed to as we have a room full of toys. But let's see how much it costs," I said and headed towards the toy seller. Veer followed me with all enthiciasm.
"How much is this for?" I checked the price of the face mask that Veer liked.
"50 rupees," she said after looking at Veer's excitement.
At the most, the price of the mask would be 10 rupees. I decided not to buy it at a price 5 times costlier. The sense of being cheated is more hurtful than that of being refused. But that statement was valid for me. For Veer, it was the other way round. He didn't mind me getting cheated as long as he was not getting refused.
I tried to convince him. From his past experience with me, somehow he knew I wouldn't buy it at a much higher price and from a cheater.
"But you will have to buy it for me tomorrow," he argued.
I promised him the same and on our way home, I also bought him a chocolate.
He held the chocolate in his hand and thought about the face mask. "But why can't you buy me the mask today?"
I could but wouldn't. Patience was something Veer never had. And I was to be blamed for it. I mostly made things available to him as soon as he demanded. He never learnt how to get the fruit of labor. Bad parenting, I would say. I woldn't continue my mistake any more.
Therefore, on the first day of the new year, my son had to be upset for not getting one thing that he didn't plan to buy initially and didn't get instead of being happy for the four things he didn't plan to experience initially but had them eventually.
I got my lesson. It's not about how much you get. It's about how well it has been presented to you.
A lecture from me couldn't convince the 7 year old. That was too much adult language. Will try to explain to him better next time.
